Cronies

This is the official weblog of Tower Ridge Poker Cronies, established Spring, 1997 (Or thereabouts. Who's counting? Besides Wolff.) 

Jennifer Leventhal mentioned our game in an article titled "Poker Fever" for Westchester  Magazine in May 2005. And Stan Mack chronicled a night in the life of the Cronies in the New York Times in January 2002. Since then, we've kept a low profile lest some brigands decide to stick us up for the pot which, on one occasion, got as high as $37.45.

Extra, Extra! Read All About It!

Mike "Cookie Monster" Bucuvalas reports that he is ready, willing and exceedingly able to cater to your every gustatory and card-playing predilection at 40 Southgate this week. Well just about. "I've decided to draw the line at moose cock," he tells this reporter exclusively. Enjoy. I shall be Windy Citying it.

No Tempest in a Teapot This Week

Jason is hosting. Regular time. Regular day. There will be a quorum. Wolf will be late and want to go mano a mano with Stein at 12:05 a.m., who will respond with a story about his adolescence. Art will moan repeatedly. Bobby will yawn repeatedly. Petey will say, "you goin' against me?" at least twice. …

Dennis the %*$#@% Menace

There Goes Mr. Wilson's "Punch"  

Dennis in The Mother Tongue

The mules refused to do any work in this heat, nobody's posting anything to boisenberryfanatics.com and the VHS tape of Pedro beating the Yankees finally snapped. So Art decided to cruise the Web and has filed this report:

"We've all been regaled by Dennis'  tales of his woebegotten youth but how many of you know that he was a child actor, and actually starred in an

Have You Ever Seen These Two Icons In The Same Place?

Of course you haven't. That's because Mr. Met ...

http://mnolan89.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/mr_met.jpg

is one and the same person as Mr. Wolf ...

and they will be hosting this week at 1 Scenic Drive. Don't miss the historic occasion.

What's Next? Elegatroid?

Jay "The Slim Guy" Roif, having hurled three gems in a row in various softball leagues, figures he's on a winning streak. Having consulted with his advisors, trainers, business managers, consiglieres and gurus, he is convinced that the stars are properly aligned for hosting a game of competitive mergatroid (which was reintroduced into the mix, to my great  personal delight and benefit, by Herr Wolf last week). …

201 Main St.,

201 Main St.,

Magdalena, New Mexico 87825. Art, start your tractor engine. Got no positive responses for a venue tomorrow except from Mr. Bisbee, who offered us his pied a terre in the metropolis. He won't be able to make it himself as he "traps rattlesnakes with the boys until the wee hours Thursday morning." 


Low Handedness

Informed sources tell me that there was yet another contretemps over the "low card in your hand is wild for you" parameters that almost led to derringers being drawn after my departure last week. I figured I better clear the matter up. Again. But I couldn't be 100% sure of what the resolution was the last time we took this to arbitration so I did what any respected scholar would do in this day and age. …

You Got To Take the Good With the Bad

The bad? Well, as you know, George spends half his years gaming us and the other half bribing officials, dodging taxes and, in general, bringing the Greek economy to its knees. He is, if all went according to plan, embarking on the latter mission this week. His drachmas will be missed.

The good? Mikey B. is back from the Dark Continent and will be conducting a multimedia show featuring Top 40 Tribal chants and videos of massive mosquitos engaged in mating rituals. …

Hippopotamusoid

To honor Herr Wolf's hosting gig this week, I pored over ancient texts in the New York Public Library, talked to off-duty bartenders throughout the region, consulted a guru high upon Mount Taurus and dug deep into the Arpanet for an appropriate tale — one that the master of punditry might himself purvey. …

Rise Guy

I was out and about in the village tonight and ran into Jason whooping it up at the Chinese takeout. He was ecstatic over winning the regular season scoring title in the Ultimate Matzoh Balls League, where he is a wiry, three-point shooting point guard for the Forest Hills Unleaveneds.

I asked him the secret of his success. …

Between The Crackpots

Between The Crackpots

At last week's game, Petey W. managed to deal a card that slipped right between a crack in the table — a feat so awesome that Petey A. offered his entire accumulated fortune for the evening — about $2.35 — if Petey W. could do it again. Well, as we should all know by know, nothing motivates Petey W. more than a challenge, particularly if an opportunity to swipe the pot is involved. …

Focus! (But I Digress)

What a bunch of jamokes. I've never seen such knuckle-headed play in all my years of sniveling. I mean, even in the midst of finding out by cell- phone communication that my third-born had mistaken a pack of Bubblicious for a laundry product and placed it in the dryer with the wife's cashmere sweaters, I could see the opportunity to BLUFF — an opportunity than only arises three, maybe four, times a year in our game — right before my disbelieving peepers. …

A Seat at the Table

That's all we want, right? A chance. An opportunity. Five bucks worth of chips (unless you're P. Wolf; in that case, ten). A seat at the table. And there may be plenty tomorrow.

Geoff "Slow Play B---" S. may or may not be slow-circling Newark.

Mike B. may or may not still be on the mountaintip listening to "

Classic Snit Fits We Have Known

Classic Snit Fits We Have Known

Don't know if you've seen this video or not, but it reminded me of the classic pissing matches at our table between the legendary Batman and the iconic Foxman concerning Sexy Sixes, in particular, and Yoogs, Micks and Rogers in general. Not to mention Ladies.


I'm Just Saying, Where Were Youze Guys Saturday Night?

I'm Just Saying, Where Were Youze Guys Saturday Night?

Police Hunt Men Who Robbed Berlin Poker Tourney

German police said six men remained at large after they allegedly stole the precise amount of $115,115.15 after storming a poker tournament in Berlin Saturday and making their getaway through a crowded shopping center whilst singing an English song with lyrics that sounded like L. Cohen's, "First We Take Mt. Hope, Then We Take Berlin." 


P. Wolf, Outfoxed by a Visitor, Will Host

So P. Wolf was hanging out at the corner of Whitman and Main today when this fresh-face chap walks by looking a little dazed. 

"You look like a native," he says to P, who responds with an inscrutable tilt of the head. "I only give directions once a day," he says. "And then only if you grovel."

"I'm from out of town and I was just wondering if you can you tell me where Slices Pizza is?"

Need Any More Really Be Said?

I think not. The Inimitable Jaymeister will do it again. Poker. Snacks. Spring water. Camaraderie. Free tax advice. 8:30 at 4 Hall Place. And all he wants in return is a little publicity on the Internet. Done deal.

Everybody's a Writer Nowadays

Wow. What a creative crew. Good thing I'm studying for my personal trainer certification because the competition in the writing field is getting wicked out there. Among the articles published  by our brothers in the last week alone:

"The Insidious Idiocy, Pernicious Influence and Noxious Impact Of Excessive 7/27 Playing on a Friendly Neighborhood Card Game" in the

We Are Overwhelmed By Your Responses

The game was in jeopardy for lack  of a venue this week but each and every one of us came through, in our own way, in an outpouring of half-hearted support.

"You're all welcome up here, as always," Art of the Deal dials in on the party line, "but the stagecoach only runs every three hours."

"Don't press your luck," tweets the Jayman, "bad as it was last week."

You Can Always Count On Mike F.

Dr. M. Foxman has just returned from a piscatory expedition bearing a jar of anchovies, an Arctic char (purchased at Pisacano's on South Broadway) and a song he learned around the campfire whilst downing Utica Clubs with the boys. It is called the Boogaloo Song, and here's a film of him singing it with his fishing pals. …


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