Legal Everywhere (Except the State of Rapture)

It's time for a little of that threatened flummadiddle. 

I sent out my weekly poker notice earlier today. The game this week will be at the home of one of our participating attorneys, who made the mistake last week of replying to a simple email of mine with a two-paragraph, cover-your-ass piece of lawyerly nonsense pasted at the bottom. I revised it to my own ends and added a new top. The names and addresses have been changed to avoid a lawsuit or, worse, a long lecture.

I have received the following communique from Lupine the Succinct, Esq.

Pursuant to and in due consideration of the pursuant to notices reproduced below, and with all due persiflage herewith and asunder, given the copious and confusing  jibber-jabber and malarkey herein, I do hereby declare to be true — except in the states of New Jersey, Wyoming and Rapture — the following declaration of intent to host this week, that is, unless stated to the contrary by any entity under which I have operated in the past or any entity under which I may render myself operable in the future, including entities not yet envisioned by scientists or madcap professors (like Addams), I do herewith state my intentions to:


NOTICES:  Pursuant to the rules of unprofessional conduct set forth in numerous e-mails and face-to-face discussions, as promulgated by the High Commission of the Tower Ridge Poker Cronies, Ltd., unless we expressly state otherwise in this communication, nothing contained in this communication was intended or written to be used by any card player for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed on the card player by the Tower Ridge Poker Cronies Penal  and JocularityCode of 1997, and it cannot be used by any card player for such purpose. No one, without our express prior written permission, may use or refer to any card-playing advice in this communication in promoting, marketing or recommending a partnership or other entity, investment plan or cheating arrangement relating to any one or more card players.

This message is from a card sharp and may contain or attach confidential information or a card sharp-patsy communication that is confidential and privileged by law. It is not intended for transmission to, or receipt by, any unauthorized person.  If you believe that you have received this message and/or any attachment in error, please delete it from your system without reading or duplicating it in any way, and notify the sender by e-mail ( or by calling 914-478-5048.  Thank you.

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